Something's fishy

Three years ago, DH thought it would be a great idea to allow Thomas to play a carnival game in which the prize was a goldfish. And he won ... yay! You can imagine how that turned out. First, we went out and bought all of the fancy equipment goldfish apparently require these days (filter, 10 gallon tank, rocks, and other decorations - I was able to talk Thomas out of the animatronic pirate chest that opened every few seconds). Our goldfish only survived about a week despite the perfect goldfish environment and one treatment for ICH (yes, this is a real goldfish malady and is pronounced ICK). So, now that Kick had left us for the great sewer beyond, we had all of this great goldfish equipment ... we couldn't just let it go to waste, now!

Enter Wade and Lazer. Apparently, when you actually purchase goldfish at the pet store, they tend to be a little healthier. Huh. Fast forward THREE YEARS ... Wade and Lazer have distinct personalities, and have been two peas in a pod happily sharing their little fish environment. Wade is totally laid back and easy going. He doesn't make a fuss, eats his fair share and doesn't make too much of a mess. Lazer on the other hand is drama city.

One day he started doing this thing where he would just hang out upside down ... not at the top of the water, but at the bottom. We thought something was wrong, but as soon as we'd approach the tank, he'd flip himself around and start swimming around completely normal. Once we fed him, he'd swim around completely normal for a few more days. Then the upside down action would start up again.

Another day, he did actually appear to be struggling for air. We fished him out, and put him in a bowl of fresher water. It was time to clean the tank so we scrubbed it down, changed out the filter and periodically checked on Lazer. Miraculously, he seemed to regain his strength and by the time we were ready to put him back in the tank, he was swimming upright and breathing well. A pretty dramatic display just to let us know he wanted the tank clean!

You're probably waiting for the part when I start talking about what a great lesson owning fish has been for the boys. Surely they are learning responsibility in taking care of a pet, right? Well aside from the occasional feeding, they get to stand by and be spectators in their growing fishes' lives. The tank is huge so impossible for them to truly help clean, and it sits up on the top of their dresser so it's difficult for them to really even reach it very well to feed the poor guys.

So, I get to do it. DH isn't necessarily opposed to it, but he does plenty to take care of the house, children and even the dog, so I definitely felt some obligation to take care of it myself. Typical mom.

Cleaning the fish tank is by far the most repulsive, disgusting, nasty pet duty there is. Truly. It's worse than anything I've ever had to do for the dog, and worse than anything I've ever experienced in our brief ownership of hamsters. Between the rocks, lid, sides of the tank, filter and all of its multiple parts, all covered in some level of fish excrement and rotted fish food, it was something I tried to avoid until it was absolutely, positively necessary.

A week ago we'd just returned from vacation and I'd been putting off cleaning the tank for a VERY long time. Probably the longest stretch since we'd brought the little slimers home. Thomas had been asking me for weeks, "Mom, when are you going to clean the fish tank?" to which I'd reply in my most annoyed voice, "I'll get to it when I can, buddy." Which could be translated into ... I wish I didn't ever have to clean that f*%9@ tank again!

So, we were still unloading the car and Thomas came down with his eyes as big as saucers and his eyes already taking on that red look just before the tears start to flow. "Mom, something's wrong with Lazer. I think he's dead." I sort of brushed it off ... is he upside down? "Yes." Is he at the top or the bottom? "The bottom." He's fine, I said. I was focused on getting to the grocery store since we'd been gone for 10 days and had no food in the house and it was getting dangerously close to dinner time. Lazer was just being his dramatic self.

As I was making my way through the grocery aisles, I got a text from DH. "The orange fish is a goner." I text him back to ask if he was going to tell the boys. Nope, that would be my job, as well, apparently. Luckily, he was already taking care of it when I got home. The boys were sad, mostly Andrew since Lazer was apparently "his" since he'd given him his name. There was talk of a ceremony and maybe someday getting another fish. I asked Andrew if he wanted to say goodbye to Lazer, or would he rather remember him as he was. He wanted to go upstairs and see him, until DH said, "That's not possible." Ah. Luckily, Andrew took that fairly well.

We didn't quite get around to the ceremony (we are sounding less and less like parents of the year here) and Andrew asked a couple of times when we were going to do it. I was able to put it off until Saturday evening Mass when I reminded him to day a little prayer for Lazer, hoping that would do it. So far so good.

Earlier this week, Thomas asked if he could help me clean the fish tank. My sweet, smart boy. So, today was our day. I think he got a true feel for the back breaking, knee crushing, disgusting sewage managing project it is. At one point I asked him, "Do you see now why Mommy doesn't enjoy this job?"  Point taken.

Wade is now happily swimming in his crystal clear water. He also appears to be rolling with the loss of his crazy dramatic tank mate ... maybe a little too well? Hm.

Last day of school for the 2012-13 year!

Wow, you've really let yourself go. I'm speaking to myself, of course, and only as it relates to this blog. Specifically. So much has happened since I last posted here, it will probably take me another five years to fill in the gaps. So I won't.

Let's just start fresh, shall we? It was actually the inspiration to start ANOTHER blog that led me back to this one. You can read all about that story in Wonderfully Made. I considered just adding my newest journey to this blog, but I think you'll agree, it's deserving of its own space. And I want this blog to be focused on the joys, celebrations and occasional frustrations (ok, maybe a little more often than that) of being KC Mom to my three most precious blessings. I'm sure there will be crossover and a little redundancy, so I'll try to connect the dots when necessary.

So as of today, summer is half over and I'm already itching to start back-to-school shopping. Remember when summer was a time to relax, veg out in front of the tv, hang at the pool and let those well tuned brains get a little mushy? That was soooo last generation. If I don't have my kids in scheduled, structured activities I'd never get them out from behind the multiple screen options scattered around the house. Minecraft, Roblox, Netflix, apps ... they have a death grip on my kids' attention. Pair that with two working parents and kids that aren't quite old enough to fare the summer days on their own and you end up with just as many activities and obligations as during the school year.

Thomas with KU men's basketball coach, Bill Self.

Thomas had the experience of a lifetime this summer at the Bill Self Youth Basketball Camp at KU in Lawrence, followed by an intense week at the William Jewell Youth Basketball Camp. According to him, the KU camp was way cooler since he got to meet some of the players and Coach Self and hang with new friends in a real KU dorm, but he learned more at WJ. I'm so proud of my baby baller - I can't wait to see how he develops. His summer will wrap up with a few remaining swimming lessons and five weeks of Camp Gone Wild with movies, pool days, bowling, Worlds of Fun and other field trips before he is officially a Manor Hill Patriot 5th grader! He's a passionate, sensitive, kind and gentle little soul, a loyal friend, cousin and brother. Just don't invade his space. Like, ever.

Andrew enjoying a Royals v. White Sox game.

Andrew's summer has included LPS summer school learning about Rome, computers, books and science. He has become a huge lover of the pool, and joined Thomas for the William Jewell basketball camp, though the jury's still out on how much he enjoyed it. His real passion this summer has been continuing to develop his acting, singing and dancing through a summer youth theater performance with Visitation Catholic Church in Brookside. He'll be a crow and a little Dutch boy in the cast of Children of Eden July 25-28. I absolutely love seeing him channel his passion and high energy into something he loves. Layer on a hip hop class, and his own Camp Gone Wild adventure, plus birthday number 9 all before school starts back up in August. He'll join the third grade, and audition for his third CYT show all in the same week! Another very exciting year ahead for our little thespian/comedian/performer!

No hesitation for her first real bus ride to school.

Maddy has had a very exciting summer full of so many new adventures. She celebrated her fifth birthday (WHAT?!) with a PJ's and Pancakes party - a major success (thanks Pinterest!). She attended summer school for the month of June in a real elementary building, including riding the bus to and from school each day. She went into the entire experience full of confidence and eager to try anything. The rest of her summer includes a short stint back at the daycare during the days, a new tumbling and dance class and gearing up for her real kindergarten adventure. This little lady continues to amaze me ... she can go from whiney, whimpering (or full on howling) toddler to mannerisms and expressions worthy of a Disney teen star. She definitely has the performance bug who loves to dance and sing with very little fear of putting it all out there!

June ended with a family vacation to Rockford/Chicago then on to the Lake of the Ozarks. We saw nearly all of the cousins, aunts/uncles, and grandparents, including one great-grandmother! Maddy and I had one very special day with my bestie and her sweet little peanut, Maggie. We had a blast brunching, shopping, giggling, drinking coffee, eating ice cream and driving all over Chi-town! From there it was lots of family time with the Crystal Lake and Rockford Hands, then an 8-hour driving adventure to the lake. We had near-perfect weather for the 4th of July festivities with plenty of opportunity for beach time, boating and swimming off the dock. We couldn't have asked for more!

Maddy and sweet little Maggie - the Moo sisters!

Rockford's Burpee Museum of Natural History. Meet Homer!

Maddy and her pretty Nanna.

I Heart Lansinoh

I would like to put in a quick plug for Lansinoh products. For those of you not familiar with the company, they provide products for breastfeeding mothers - their lanolin ointment is recognized as the best on the market, but they also have nursing pads, breastmilk storage bags, and diaper rash ointment. As a breastfeeding mom who is now pumping three times a day at work, I am a frequent user of their breast milk storage bags. Here's a recent exchange I had with the Lansinoh company:

To Whom It May Concern:

First, let me say that I am a huge fan of Lansinoh products. Your lanolin ointment got me through the difficult early days of breastfeeding all three of my children, your nursing pads are by far the best on the market and your breast milk storage bags have played a role in allowing me to continue breastfeeding while working full time.

It is the latter product, however, with which I have had recent disappointment. After pumping for the second time today, I went to grab a fresh storage bag from the “tissue box” dispenser bag. There was a strange mark on the bottom of the bag in what looked like black permanent marker. After ensuring that the mark was on the outside of the bag, and the bag was still sealed, I went ahead and began to fill it. To my dismay, my precious pumped milk started to leak right out of the bottom corner of the bag! Luckily, I quickly put the storage bottle underneath the bag and caught most of it back in the bottle.

There was a small slip of paper in the dispenser bag when I first opened it saying that it had passed inspection, but my impression is that this bag was to have been removed and it was overlooked.

I am certain this is a very rare instance in a company that has had, with me anyway, a long history of stellar products. For that reason, I thought you would want to know about my experience and take the opportunity to secure a long-time and loyal customer. I look forward to hearing from you.

Ashlie Hand
Mom of three
Thomas – breastfed for 10 months
Andrew – breastfed for 12.5 months
Madeline – born 6.6.08 and exclusively breastfed

Ashlie,
First I would like to extend my sincerest apology to you for the unpleasant experience you are having with our Milk Storage Bags. Thank you very much
for notifying us of this problem. I can only imagine how frustrating and disappointing this must have been for you. This company was founded over 20 years ago by a breastfeeding mothers for the sole purpose of supporting breastfeeding and I am so sorry that one of our products has not only failed to make things easier for you but has created quite the opposite. It takes an enormous commitment to breastfeed, even more of a commitment to provide breastmilk in your absence. To know that a product of ours has challenged you even further is a terrible thing for you and for all of us here at Lansinoh.

Do you by chance still have the inspection code that would have been included inside the white pouch? It looks very much like a fortune that you would find in a fortune cookie. Also, do you still have the defective bags? If so, I would like to send you a self-addressed stamped envelope to return the defective bags so that we may forward them to our manufacturer. This problem surely occurred during manufacturing and the bag should not have been placed in the package.

I would like to send you an additional supply of bags to use going forward, or if you prefer, a refund. Please forward your mailing address and phone number for shipping purposes.

Again, I am sorry for the trouble this has caused and if you have any questions or if I could be of any further assistance please feel free to contact me. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
Danielle B.
Lansinoh Laboratories
Consumer Relations Department

Danielle,
Thank you for your prompt response. It only reinforces what I already know about what a great company Lansinoh is. I do still have the defective bag, but since it was several bags into the package, and I opened the package several days ago, I think I have already thrown away the inspection slip you mentioned (and I know exactly what you’re talking about). I will search my trash at home to make sure it isn’t still floating around somewhere, but can definitely send you the defective bag.

This particular package was part of a 50 count box which I’m sure you know includes two white pouches…would the inspection slip for both pouches be the same? I haven’t opened the second pouch yet so could send you that inspection slip. Just let me know if that would be helpful.

Your response was all I was really looking for, but I would appreciate and definitely use an additional supply of bags. I still have faith in the product and would love to continue using them.

Thank you Ashlie. I will process a shipment for you to receive the additional bags. No need to worry about looking through your garbage for the inspection tag, if we can get the defective bag back that will be better. I will send the SASE along with the bags so you can just place the defective bag in there and send it back to us. Thanks again for being patient and understanding. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do to assist you.

Take care,

Danielle B.
Lansinoh Laboratories
Consumer Relations Department

I wish more companies had this kind of stellar customer service. Thanks again, Danielle!

Childhood Memories

I've been told that I have a pretty good memory. And honestly, I have vivid memories that go back as far as age 2. Since becoming a parent, I really try to draw on those memories to help myself relate to and better understand my kids. I've been drawing on those memories a lot lately...

I try to remember what I can about being 4: This is the first birthday party I vividly remember - I got my first bike, had my first "real" birthday party with friends from my preschool (it was a clown theme) and we played a game where we had to sit on a balloon to pop it and get a message hidden inside. I used to sleep at the top of the stairs with my blanket and pillow, eating saltine crackers - I can remember just wanting to be closer to my parents and not miss out on anything that went on after I went to bed. I remember riding my bike all over the townhome complex where we lived (Gateway Gardens in CR) - shocking to me when I think of Andrew riding a bike all over our neighborhood without me knowing EXACTLY where he is at all times! I was scared of the older kids at the complex. I remember "mean Sue" and "nice Sue," my two babysitters that year. I remember the "oily road" we had to drive on to get to my preschool (Kindercare). I remember how embarrassed I was when I'd have an accident during nap time at preschool. I remember my first Christmas recital at the preschool when we sang for our parents at a local mall.

Ah, the list could really go on. I think age 4 was when I really started to realize that I was my own person and that I was growing up. I try to think about what it would have been like if my little brother had come along that year, rather than nearly two years later.

I read some great advice recently from a woman that taught third grade for a long time and has a book out about "behavior charts." I haven't downloaded the book yet, but just in her intro alone, I found a great idea. Create a "gratitude journal" in which at the end of each day, you make a list of five things you appreciate about your child, or that you liked about how your child behaved that day. Here's an example from my day yesterday:

Andrew
I loved when you laughed like Sponge Bob and sounded JUST like him!
I loved when you calmed down and just want in the playroom to play.
I loved it when you spooned tuna noodles onto your plate even though you thought you wouldn’t like it.
I loved it when you got yourself dressed this morning.
I loved it when you leaned down and talked to Madeline in her carseat and made her smile.

Thomas
I loved it when you answered the phone and asked me how my day was at work.
I loved it that you said the corn and broccoli was your favorite vegetables then served yourself.
I loved it when you told me all of the things you did in gym class – especially the “crab walk”
I loved it when you gave me a huge kiss on the lips at bedtime
I loved it when you said “Hi Maddy!” and made her smile.

Fun stuff...

Letting Go

The events of the past week have brought me to the realization that a significant part of parenting is made up of a series of moments of letting go. Letting that rope out a tiny bit more with each major milestone.

Our first major milestone this week was Thomas' first day of kindergarten. All week everyone who hears that we had this big moment this week first asks how I'm doing. The truth is, I'm great! Thomas was so excited and so ready for this major transition that it wiped away any anxiety or sadness I might have had. He has been counting down until this day since August 1st, could hardly get to sleep the night before, was up at 5:30 a.m. and had his backpack on and was ready to walk out the door a good 45 minutes before the bus was even scheduled to arrive. Given the incredible build up from kindergarten round up, summer school and back to school night, there was no holding this kid back! It made for such an exciting, happy morning - no tears, no anxiety, no bittersweet feelings - all was rosy! I can't wait for all of his school firsts - first skating party, classroom parties, PTA events, and even those first tests and school projects.

The only tears of the morning actually came from little brother Andrew who was devastated that he couldn't ride the bus with Thomas or stay with him at his new school. "Thomas is leaving without us!!" he wailed as we walked back to our house from the bus stop. I guess this is the sentiment most parents of kindergartners would be feeling, Andrew was just vocalizing it for me. "He's growing up, buddy," I said and tried to explain that when he turned 6, he would get to go to kindergarten, too. I also explained that Madeline will be going to his school in just a couple of weeks and he would get to be the big brother and watch out for her. Even though he didn't respond to that, he was in a much better mood by the time he got to his preschool.

And the report after the first day? "That was awesome!" as he climbed down from the bus. He got to make play-doh that "smelled like jelly," made a new friend, Brooke, saw his buddy from t-ball on the playground and won a race around the track (though someone he said cheated because they ran on the grass), and learned that the monkey bars were off-limits to the kindergartners (though he is already an expert at them).

This is also the point in my maternity leave that becomes very bittersweet. Madeline has just started to become more animated, playful and interactive but I know that in just a couple of weeks, I'm going to have to leave her at the daycare for the majority of the day and go back to work. That's the bitter.

The sweet part is that I'm actually looking forward to being back at the office, the excitement that comes with being part of a team, thinking strategically about how to best communicate with everyone that needs to know what we're doing. I attended a planning meeting for an upcoming event last week and it felt so empowering and energizing to be there, solving problems and thinking about something besides feeding schedules, diapers and entertaining a 5 year-old.

There is some added anxiety this time around, too, being that I'm taking Madeline to a daycare center, rather than an in-home daycare provider. It was easier, I think, to take the boys to someone's home where the environment wasn't all that different from where they had spent the first few months of their lives. Going from home to a place with bright lights, other babies, new smells, on top of strangers now feeding, diapering, holding and caring for you has to be a major shock to a 3-month-old. It's heartbreaking to think about, but it brings me back to my first thought - it's all part of the letting go process. Working moms just have to face it a little sooner than those who choose to, or are fortunate enought to, stay home full time.

From the time I gave birth to Madeline, our relationship has been a series of moments of separation. From having her inside of me to now being a separate person, whisked away for her first bath in the nursery just moments after birth, to putting her in her crib for the first time and sleeping outside of our room. Even letting Christopher feed her from a bottle required me to let go of my role as the sole provider of food for her, even if it was for just one feeding. And I know that there will be even more of these little moments to come.

My good friend Jill told me a story yesterday about missing the first time her daughter rolled over. She's a stay-at-home mom and is with her daughter nearly 24-7. She took her to a friend's house and after putting her down on the floor to play, ran to use the bathroom. When she came back, her daughter (just four weeks older than Madeline) was on her stomach. I laughed when she told me this, and said that she needed to share that with every working mom she meets. She agreed saying, "That's right, you can miss those little milestones whether you're at work, or just in the bathroom." Luckily, she witnessed her daughter's new trick several more times that night and knows that another milestone will soon replace it as our little babies are growing up right before our eyes.

Happy Birthday Andrew!

I have now been officially blogging for one year! Andrew rang in his fourth birthday yesterday with lots of fanfare. After a pretty low-key celebration last year, we made sure his fourth birthday would definitely be one to remember. He had a party with several of his friends from school and a few family friends at AirZone, an indoor inflatable playground - what a hoot! Everyone was sweaty and full of sugar by the time they left! He requested a Speed Racer theme and got some very nice gifts to match - it's amazing how many different toys can result from one movie/show!

On his actual birthday, he got to stay home from preschool and hang out with Mommy and Thomas all day - a real treat! We played outside in the morning before the intense heat hit, then made our way to the library to pick out some books and enjoy the AC. Later, it was lunch at McDonald's, burning calories in the indoor playground then a very entertaining Ronald McDonald magician. He watched his favorite movie, "Cars," in the afternoon, then we took him to dinner at his favorite restaurant, Red Robin. He opened gifts (more Speed Racer gear!) and hit the sack. Given his rare over sleeping this morning, I think I sufficiently wore him out! We had a blast, though, and it was so great to get to spend his special day with him.

Other news this week, Madeline is officially two months old! She had her check up with the pediatrician and is now 12 lbs. 2 oz. and 22 1/2 inches long. She's in the 90th and 75th percentiles and growing! She got her first big round of shots and has been fussy and obviously sore this afternoon. It breaks my heart to hear her cry and know she's uncomfortable, but keeping her healthy is worth it.

More later!

Maddy's Pink Party

We had a wonderful visit to Rockford last week and got to introduce the first girl to come from the Brian and Missy Hand family to lots of people. Maddy met her uncles Matthew, Reis and Blake for the first time, as well as Aunt Elizabeth, soon-to-be-Aunt Courtney and Uncle Blake's friend, Ann. She also met her great Uncle Buck (Mark) and Aunt Anne and second cousin Madeline (the first!).

On Friday, there was a fabulous "welcome baby" shower for Missy, Madeline and me. It was such a blast to meet many of Missy's friends, all of whom know intimately what a big deal this is for the family. They outfitted Missy with toys, movies, dress up clothes, and everything else she would need for future overnight visits from Madeline. There was a wonderful brunch and Madeline was loved on enough to last her at least until our next visit!

I dressed Maddy in her very best dress - a special one picked out by her Papa on a recent visit to California - and she wore Nanna's good pearls (I feel like I'm giving color commentary on the red carpet!). It was such a treat and a very special day.